The Secrets of Brilliant Students

How to be a brilliant student. If you are reading this you are either a parent, in which case you should stop reading right now because you can't force your child into submision and you shouldn't even try. If you are still reading you are either a dork or trying to impress someone in which case you should also stop reading now, that's right just close the book..... Your still reading...... Good. You have just learned the first lesson, be persistant. Ask questions and if you don't get the answer, ask again. In this book you will learn how to take your grades from sad.... To satisfactory! (And if you don't know what satisfactory means, your really dumb and this won't help you at all, you need special help (joking (sorta)))

Similies

She was scared, as scared as a mouse being chased by a cat. She was also furious, as mad as a momma bear seperated from her cubs. Her baby was with that monster and he was gonna hurt her if she didn't do exactly what she wanted. The officers burst through the door and she was free. She ran and found her baby with her mouth duct-taped looking very scared. She untied her and took the duct-tape off her mouth and her baby hugged her like she was freezing and her momma was the fire.

*Person enters insane asylum with other person*
"Are you a doctor?" one of them askes quietly.
"Yes" said the doctor
"We need help! My mother is very sick"
"Oh, sorry I only cure healthy people" said the doctor.
~
"Did you just set that guy on fire!?!?!"
"Ya"
"WHY?!?!?"
"Well, that guy was cold and needed a fire and had some firewood but didn't have a match"
"Why didn't you just give him a match!!!!"
"Well I read that if you give a man a match, he will be warm for a second, if you set a man on fire, he will be warm forever!"
*Smacks head*

Body Language

Ronnie stood in the door way, the boldest of the new kindergardeners but still only brave enough to stand a foot or so in front of his mother. Tyler cowered behind her mother with only her eyes left to peek out at Ronnie and the other children. Mrs. Tyler's mom grabbed Tyler's hand and pulled a struggling Tyler in front of her to introduce Tyler to Ronnie. Ronnie watched curiously as Tyler was convinced to meet him. They both quietly said hi and shook hands, then they hesitantly held hands and walked to sit on the circle.
~
So there you have it, a fictional kindergarten first day.

Celebrity

If I could be any celebrity I would by Pauley Perret because she has an awesome job. I would love to play her part on NCIS because it is a fun part to play. I also like her cause she is 40 and she looks like she is 20. I want to look like that when I'm 40!!

My dream car

My dream car is a porsh 911 turbo. I would like it to either be yellow with a black leather interior or silver with a black leather interior. It will be my baby. I think it is one of the most beautiful things known to man. It is very, very pretty.

Where's the Sequel?

My favorite commercial is where is there is a little girl and her mom is always pointing to her nose and saying "Nose" and the girl never says nose and in the end the little girl sits next to her big dog and points to his nose and says "Nose". My sequel would be The little girl when she is older and has a little girl of her own and tries to teach her to say nose and the little girl isn't saying it. She calls her mom and askes how her mom got her to say nose. Then her mom would tell her about the grape juice and then the new mother would start giving her little girl the grape juice and then she says "Nose".

Foreshadowing

*creepy music* *pant, pant* "No! No! Please NO!!! AGH!!!" *bang! bang!*......
"Whew, glad that's over!" said Jenny
"Ya, that was the best episode yet!" I said
"Well, I'll see you later, I have to go home to the kids." Jenny drawled in her country accent.
"Ya I should turn in too. Night!" I said cheerily.
"Bye!" said Jenny, also content.
I hear the door open and then click shut. I go to my room and slip into my silk pajamas, thinking about the new episode of my favorite murder show. I hear Jenny's car start up just like every other Wednesday night, but she doesn't drive away quickly tonight. I think that maybe she forgot something. So, I walk briskly back to the living room, the silk brushing gently against my skin. I get to the living room and stop. I quickly grab the remote and push the power button to turn it off for the night. Suddenly, I hear Jenny's scream! I run to the door and fling it open. I hear her scream again, this time calling for me!
"Linsey! Linsey, help me!"
She screams once more and I see some one on the grass with a knife to her throat. He slashes the knife and she screams, which is quickly cut off by a gross wet gurgling sound. Her scream is silenced by torents of blood gushing from her neck. The man jumps into her car and races away, his tires screeching as I run to the body of my best friend.

Some Friend

If I was someeones friend, I would not stab them at all because that is rude. If I had to stab some one i would stab them gently and in like the toe or something so technically I would be stabbing them from like the bottom or something.

When I was your age...

When I was your age I was way too obsessed with how I looked even though I looked a lot better than I do now. You should go have fun and play more and worry less. I would like to study more about computers and worry less about makeup. Thats it so just go play and have fun.

Game Play

I think the best game ever would be a game where you get oreos every time you roll dice and move a piece. It would be awesome cause you would get lots and lots of oreos. It would be a huge hit and get a lot of people to play it. It would be good for kids and parents would hate it but parents would get it for their kids anyway.

3 cents for 1 penny?!?!?!?!

It's true (probably) they might stop making pennies because it cost 3 cents to make 1 penny. I think this is good because then we will have more money to spend on other things. Like shoes... and ya know..... other stuff....

Thesis

The more you email, the less you write letters. Obvioiusly if you write emails to your friends you don't send them hand-writen letters. In my oppinion this is a major improvement, because you don't get writers cramp if you are typing and you can write longer letters. Emails are also quicker that letters so you can have more of a conversation that letters that take days to get to another person.

Allegory: The Rocking

Last Year there was a fox named Caitlin. She was an orange fox. She liked to rock back and forth. The rest of the animals in the forest wanted her to stop racking but she just said "Meh!". One day the little pink bunny named Brenda went up to Caitlin and and said "Caitlin, stop rocking!" in his manly voice but she just "MEH!". The next day the kind loving wonderful tiger kindly asked Caitlin to stop rocking but again she just said "Meh!". The next day the purple butterfly named Haly asked Caitlin to stop rocking but Caitlin said "MEH!". Caitlin then had to go far away never to be seen agian!

Halloween

My Birthday
Cat
Black
Scary
Ghost
Fun

My birthday is near Halloween
Halloween remindes me of black but not green
I have a pretty black cat
I haven't yet seen a ghost
If it was scary I'd have a reason to boast
If holidays had numbers Halloween would have the most

.....That was a super lame poem but whatever.......

Similies and Metephors

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances; ? (William Shakespeare, As You Like It, 2/7)
This is a metaphor from one of the most wonderful writers in history. He was as gangsta as Lilly's purple plastic purse. Tessa is as gangsta as a bunny. Alanna is as gangsta is as Tigger. Brendan is as gangsta as a karbonder 98 k. I am as gangsta as rap music. Gas is a monster that is destroying our enviornent (that was lame but now im done).